A Cat's Meow
by Ellis
Summary: Some sake, a poker game, a neko outfit, no missions in the way, G-boys and what do you get? Plus my own weirdness...
1. Default Chapter Title

A Cat's Meow  
Part One, I suppose  
by Ellis  
  
WARNINGS: Yaoi, WEIRDNESS, may be too drawn out...-_-; I'm also going to assume my HTML tags will work, so the fic may look strange. ^_^ Oh yeah...OOC Trowa?   
DISCLAIMER: [since last time I didn't put it on Longing, and I kinda got worried] Gundam Wing not mine. That means all the characters in here ain't mine, either...but the idea for this fic is~!  
  
  
Japanese Terms [used in this fic, no da]:  
-baka - idiot  
-Omae o korosu - Heero's famous line, "I'll kill you."  
-neko - cat  
-sake (I don't know if this term is actually Japanese, but...) - Japanese rice wine  
-gomen - sorry  
-Shinigami - God of Death  
-kudasai - please  
  
Quatre's lips thrust out slightly in a pout. "I won, yesh I did--!" he declared angrily, his body tilting forwards a bit.  
  
"N', you losht," Duo slurred right after him. "You losht," the American repeated, then once more, as if taking in the information through his alcohol-soaked brain. Suddenly he broke into wild laughter. "Quatre losht, Quatre losht, Quatre LOSHT!!" he chanted. "Heeheehee! Ya hear tha', guysh? Quatre losht!"  
  
Trowa raised his head slowly, moving his gaze from Quatre's pout to Duo's giggling face. "...Aa.," the Heavyarm's pilot replied, also slowly.  
  
"I won." Quatre insisted.  
  
"You losht," Duo returned, leering, his eyes crossed.  
  
"I won."  
  
"Losht."  
  
"Won."  
  
"Losht."  
  
"W--"  
  
"WINNER, YOU'VE LOSHT! FACE IT! YOU'VE LOSHT!!" shouted Wufei, clumsily hopping up and knocking over a couple of the many bottles lying around that still held a little sake.  
  
The Arabian shook his head tightly, wobbling to the side as he did so.   
  
Duo looked at Heero, who was practically a statue, looking as he was, even with all the sake Duo forced hi--I mean..."helped" him drink. "Hee-chan, ya gotta help ush!"  
  
No reaction. (Omae o korosu)  
  
"C'mon! It'sh VERY importan'!"  
  
No reaction. (Omae o korosu)  
  
"Y' can do it for Ime/I," Duo batted his eyelashes, twirling the end of his braid with his fingers.  
  
No reaction. (Omae o korosu)  
  
The Braided One tumbled over to the stiff and silent Psychotic One, rolling on the bottles. "It'll jus' be like a--a MISSION!"  
  
At the word 'mission,' Heero's eyes lit up. He seemed to contemplate what the mission was.  
  
(In his mind)  
What the HELL Iis/I the mission?!!  
Duo no baka...  
(Out of his mind)  
  
The American seemed to notice something. What, we don't know. Well, anyway, at least he provided the objective of the...mission.  
  
"Quatre hash to do whateffer we want him t'! Dat's what happens when someone loshes, r'member?"  
  
"For how long?" Heero drawled.  
  
"Um...I dunno...I'll tell y' tomorrer..."  
  
"Hn. Duo no baka." why did it seem that Heero's voice was the only one unaffected? What's that? What about Trowa? Well, he didn't talk enough...so you can't really argue...so THERE! (Author: *sticks tongue out*)  
  
"What are you going to make Quatre do?" another ingenious question asked by Mister Heero Yuy[1].  
  
Duo snickered, his long, thick BRAID[2] bobbing up and down. "Dress up as a neko!" he answered happily. "He'll have ears, paws, and we can glue the tail to his butt!"  
  
The Beautiful One (Author: *smirks*) paled, despite all he had to drink, and a soft thump was heard as he finally toppled over, unconscious.  
  
The Psychotic One's mouth quirked slightly--ever so slightly--as he said:  
  
"Mission acknowledged."  
  
Meanwhile, the Unibanged One's eyes traveled down the Beautiful One's body.  
  
-------------------  
  
Quatre woke up the next day with a splitting headache, and was surprised that he was in his room.  
  
He was surprised, but he didn't know why.  
  
IWhat had happened yesterday?/I he thought, slipping out of bed and promptly tumbling onto the floor, looking dazed (into the carpet, that is).  
  
Sprawled face-down in the lush creme-coloured carpet, the Arabian was content to stay Ijust...like...that.../I when his door was slammed open excitedly. Footsteps stomped with soft 'booms' as they reached the blond pilot.  
  
"Oi...Q-man! What are you doing on the floor? You gotta dress-up, remember?"  
  
No, Q-man didn't remember.  
  
Q-man's left arm was jerked gently, carefully, and firmly, but with all the gentleness and carefulness, Q-man winced from his uncomfortable awakening from his dreamlike state.  
  
IWhat dress-up?/I such thoughts mumbled around in his mind. IWere they going to a party? Going somewhere important?/I  
  
As he was being dragged out of his room in an awkward position, made even more so by Duo's energetic walk to someplace unknown to him, Quatre caught a word in a singsong the American was humming:  
  
Kitty.  
  
In a blotted rush, tiny snippets of memories hurried into the little blonde's head.  
  
(in his mind--err, head [things that happened, not necessarily in order])  
  
[slow motion]  
  
"You...losht..."  
  
~bzap~  
  
"WINNER...FACE IT...LOSHT...!!"  
{Wufei jumping up and down, Quatre mused, like a monkey}  
  
~bzap~  
  
"Oi...minna! Lookit what I got...for a discount...!"  
  
~bzap~  
  
"I know...what we can...play..." "No..." "PLEASE?"  
  
~bzap~  
  
{Duo looking over Quatre's shoulder} "Ha ha, Q-man...! What kind if hand is that...?"  
  
"Stop cheating...Maxwell! Injustice!!"  
  
~bzap~  
  
"Glue...tail..."  
  
~bzap~  
  
{Trowa looking at Duo} "...Aa."  
  
~bzap~  
  
"Mission...acknowledged."  
  
[end slow mo]  
  
(back out of his head)  
  
Quatre squirmed, trying to get his arm free from Duo's grasp without accidentally cracking him in the face and poking his eye out. "Duo, can't I eat, first? I haven't gotten breakfast yet!" he pleaded.  
  
Shinigami stopped. "Oh, yeah. Ah well, I'll have to watch you then, so you don't try to run off! You lost the poker game, don't forget!" Duo grinned at him, Quatre noticed uneasily, a little feral.  
  
--------------------  
  
Quatre Raberba Winner, veddy, veddy rich, even cuter, the only person who looks good in pink, and pilot of Sandrock, lowered his spoon for the 37th time, fairly red. "Can you...guys...please stop...staring at me?" he asked of the three other pilots who looked like they will NOT stop at anything to burn six holes into the Arabian. (Trowa only had sweet, discreet glances for him)  
  
"It would be unjust for you to try to run off without us looking, Winner," sniffed Wufei disdainfully.  
  
"But I wouldn't--"  
  
"Just some 'security,'" put in Duo.  
  
"I don't--I won't--"  
  
"..." said Trowa.  
  
"..." replied Quatre.  
  
"I have a mission to do," said Mister My-heart-will-only-soften-for-Duo Freezeman Yuy (also known as 'Heero' or 'Hee-chan'). The same replies, just altered somewhat, save Trowa and Mister My-heart-will-only-soften-for-Duo Freezeman Yuy, who had been tackled early in the morn by the braided pilot, as to be reminded of his...*cough*...mission.  
  
"I...I...gomen, but I can't eat anymore," sighed Quatre, wondering at the same time why he was sorry. Setting down his spoon with a slight clatter in his cereal bowl, he looked a bit mournful for his wasted cereal.  
  
"Good! Who wants to eat soft, soaked, yucky corn flakes, anyway?" exclaimed Duo, jumping up and reaching to grab his victim's hand, when Wufei, alongside of him, reached it first.  
  
"Let's go, Winner. I believe you have to call one of your servants to clean your bowl and dump out the cereal."  
  
"You mean, 'dump out the cereal and THEN clean his bowl,' right, Wu-man?"  
  
The One with the Receding Hairline[3] snorted indignantly. "I do not care, as long as Winner fulfills his end of the bargain!" said he, pulling Quatre behind him to the fixed up room they wanted to fix up but didn't really fix up at all because when Duo helps in a fix-up, he does NOT fix up.  
  
"Jeez, why's HE so up 'bout this?" wondered self-proclaimed Shinigami as he followed, Heero and Trowa in suit; the latter glaring somewhat malevolently--but only somewhat! No one noticed! ...Except for me, that is, but I'M writing the fic!--at the back of Wufei's slick head[4].   
  
--------------------  
  
Once inside the room, Quatre-soon-to-be-NEKO-Q hardly glanced around as he dropped into a sitting position.  
  
He DID grow alert when a chest was pulled out from behind the curtains. "We can't let Rashid see this and take this 'way, yanno," Duo explained.   
  
"What's in there?" asked the victim, tentatively. The American opened his motormouth when--"Err, no, don't tell me, kudasai..." was whispered hurriedly. II might vomit,/I was added silently.  
  
"Ooh, so you wanna be blindfolded during the whole process?"  
  
"..." Q-man flushed slightly. "What kind of process?"   
  
Trowa lifted the lid, he facing Quatre so Quatre couldn't see what the [usually] silent pilot was picking or sifting through the contents in the chest.  
  
The room grew silent, everyone, save Trowa, was staring intently at the uneasy Quatre. The only sounds that could be heard was Trowa lifting up some soft, silky material, dropping it, uninterested, and moving on in his search for the perfect...something.  
  
"Ano...why is this so important?" sighed Quatre again, his face burning from the unwanted attention.  
  
"Mission," stated Heero.  
  
"It's just just," growled Wufei.  
  
"You lost." Duo concluded.  
  
The Arabian opened his mouth once more to protest, but a low "Ah!" from the Unibanged One made everyone's head swivel to direct their attention to him.  
  
The Unibanged One turned slightly to show an all-black-pure-black-only-black-ever-black neko outfit.  
  
The set had precisely:  
  
-1. one headband piece with cat's ears, the headband being extremely thin as to be easily hidden in one's hair (if any)  
  
-2. a cat's tail, with no instructions whatsoever to reveal how it was SUPPOSED to be put on--oh, wait! There's a piece of paper here...it says, "BE CREATIVE"...  
  
-3. a cat's four paws, looking much like gloves  
  
--and that was all.  
  
"Is there nothing else to cover my...me...nothing else--to cover me--up?" the blond pilot cried, much flustered and aghast. Trowa paused, rolling over a thought that rocked in his head like the waves do on the ocean on the shore. The rocking grew more violent as another thought joined the first. Then another and another and another and...the tall, quiet pilot, much serious, who does his duties well (take that however you please), passed out with a certain red liquid spurting silently out of his nose, because of all the ecchi thoughts in his unibanged head.  
  
"Trowa?"  
  
A nudge.  
  
Nothing.  
  
"T...T...Trowa--?"  
  
A push.  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Wah! What was he--what am I--wait..." Quatre looked at the other pilots, who were suddenly interested in the wall, window, or ceiling, and tried to give them Heero's Death Glare plus the evil eye, and failing utterly. Miserably. Utterly. Miserably. Ahh, take your pick!  
  
"What are you guys actually--planning?"  
  
Cobalt blue met his green blue mix.  
  
Dark violet met his green blue mix.  
  
Black met his green blue mix.  
  
The green blue mix stared back, defiant, but wavering faintly because the three colors...they were his Icomrades,/I not Ienemies./I  
  
"Are you all PERVERTED--?" ...after a tense moment of silence.  
  
"Well, only to Hee--" Heero slapped Duo calmly upside the head.  
  
"Duo, just leave our private matters in the bedroom."  
  
"Well, yes," Quatre stuttered. "I think you should, Duo."  
  
"What, you never noticed?" laughed the Braided One. "Heero does some of the craziest things--WHAAAAT, Heero?" the Psychotic One stopped his tapping of the shoulder to glare. An embarrassed glare, I daresay [Heero: Omae o korosu. You shouldn't dare say anything.].  
  
"Duo..."  
  
"OooKAY!"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Winner, get in your suit."  
  
"But there will be indecent exposure!"  
  
"C'mon, Quatre!" Duo clapped the Arabian's back. "You're not afraid, are you? You're gonna do this for honor!"  
  
"Duo, I'm not Wufei." Duo blinked. Wufei didn't seem to notice.  
  
"Uh...right. Oki oki, you have to wear the suit anyway...you can put it on in there," he pointed to a door. "No worry, we won't peek!"  
  
IYou won't have to,/I Quatre grumbled mentally.   
  
"And we'll hold Trowa still for you, 'k?"  
  
Quatre coughed.  
  
"Yeah," Duo continued, "and when you come out, remember to act like a neko!"  
  
"I have to ACT like a NEKO, TOO!?" the Beautiful One blanched. "This--"  
  
"WILL YOU STOP STALLING?!!" everyone conscious, save the victim, shouted. With great vigor the victim was also thrown into the room he was supposed to change in, along with the outfit.  
  
ITick tock tick tock.../I  
They waited.  
  
ITick tock tick tock.../I  
Still waiting.  
  
ITick tock tick tock.../I  
Trowa regained consciousness.  
  
ITick tock tick tock.../I  
"Prob'ly admiring himself," Duo suggested. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. Q-MAN, YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE A NEKO, TOO!"  
  
A muffled cry was heard. "I IKNOW/I THAT!"  
  
Duo smirked.  
  
Heero smirked--barely.  
  
Wufei smirked--for reasons unknown even to him.  
  
Trowa smirked--oh wait, he chuckled.  
  
3 minutes passed.  
Rustling sounds could be heard.  
  
5 minutes passed.  
More rustling. Maybe some low evil chuckles.  
  
10 minutes passed.  
No sounds.  
  
A second later.  
The door creaked open.  
  
All eyes were trained on the spot, waiting. Expectantly.  
  
{to be continued...}  
  
  
__________afterthoughts___________________________  
[1] I'm not making fun of Heero. I'm not saying he's dumb...really, I'm not...  
[2] No hentai intentions intentioned. ^_^ Just keeping you away from thinking of that other...thing...  
[3] I try my best to not make fun of Wufei, since he's also a favorite of mine, but...*sweatdrops, smiling sheepishly*  
[4] Me no make fun o' Wufei. Me promise. 


	2. Default Chapter Title

A Cat's Meow (twO)  
Part Two  
by Ellis  
  
WARNINGS: Yaoi, yadda yadda yadda, OOC people? ...yadda yadda yadda, uh...I think that's all...  
DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing isn't mine. That means all the characters in here isn't mine, except for 'Ellis', which is ME. ^_^  
  
  
...continuing from the first part...  
  
Minna-san, note: all the G-boys, save neko-Quatre, were anticipating how Quatre put on the tail. Yeah! I agree with you: they're HENTAIS!!  
  
[G-boys, without Quatre-dear: NANI!? _YOU'RE_ writing this!! Not US!!  
Ellis: *sweatdrops* Um...yeah...I know...  
G-boys: *growl* Then why blame US for being hentai?!!  
Ellis: *pout* 'coz I wanna. Play along, won't you?  
Heero: *monotone* Omae o korosu.  
Duo: . Prepare for Shinigami!!  
Wufei: *snarl* Coward, blaming US...you weakling!!  
Trowa: ...*looks thoughtful*...  
Everyone, save Trowa: *sweatdrop*]  
  
Everyone's (well, almost everyone) jaw fell to the ground when they saw neko-Quatre's tail connected to...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
...a pair of black [leather? rubber? some kind of foreign cloth we never heard of?] pants. The tail was SEWED onto it.   
  
Neko-Quatre couldn't help but look a little smug.  
  
"How did you...?" --from Duo.  
  
Neko Quatre mewed in reply.  
  
"No, c'mon, tell me!!"  
  
N-Quatre mewed again, cocking his head to the side.  
  
"Maxwell you idiot!" Wufei managed when his eyes stopped their tour [of Quatre's body...told ya Q-chan's beautiful. ^_^]. "You told him to act like a cat! And when do cats talk!?" Duo pouted and glomped Heero, sniffing, searching for some sympathy.  
  
He found none.  
  
"Awww, Hee-chan, YOU'RE no fun...or help..." he whined when the Psychotic One glared at him.  
  
"Meow...?" (Translation: "Forgotten 'bout me already...?") Ha ha..._no_, Quatre. Look, Trowa looks like he's...  
  
"Mee-YOW!!" the Arabian, his Meowness yelped as Wufei did a superglomp on him.  
  
The Unibanged One's face took on a suicidal-death gleam that was quickly smoothed over.   
  
"Kitty...kitty...kitty..." the Chinese purred, clutching onto neko-Quatre as if for dear life.  
  
N-Quatre locked gazes with Duo, lapis lazuli eyes glinting angrily: 'Did you plan this? Did you _know_ this was going to happen? I don't like being held by Wufei like...like THIS!!'  
  
Quatre managed to get his arms free, and dragged himself over to the others, looking--really!--like a cat that was mad as hell...heck, he looked like a cat that CAME from the underworld!  
  
Duo just HAD to laugh hysterically, slapping his legs, not hiding his amusement, which was...uh, obviously, great. Not great as in 'Ooh, that's GREAT!' but in 'a lot.' "Hey, neko-Q-man, can you do something else?" he giggled between words.   
  
The Arabian cat wriggled the rest of his body free from Wufei so the Chinese was clinging to his tail, flopped down, curled up, and fell asleep.  
  
Three people facevaulted. (Wufei didn't care--he was holding onto the tail of a cat! Ahh, a cat...purr...)  
  
"Duo no baka."  
  
"But, Heero, you KNOW that's not what I meant when I said, 'Can you do something else'!"  
  
"Hn."  
  
Trowa reached out tentatively to glide his long fingers over the gilded hair. The one with the gilded hair responded by making a soft noise, rubbing his head against the hand.  
  
Trowa...smiled. A small one, but it was a smile, all right! Woohoo! Go, Quatre! You--oops...uh...back to the story!! ^_^;  
  
Then, Trowa sent another suicidal-death gleam (first-class! ^_^) Wufei's way, who was beginning to snore softly, affected by the "cat's" sleepiness.  
  
Well...! What else can they do? Lots, you say? I meant with neko_Qautre. Oh, you say? (note to self: stop having made-up conversations with self)  
  
* * *  
3 lovely hours later  
* * *  
  
"Duo no baka."  
  
"But, Heero..."  
  
"..."  
  
"ZzZzZz..."  
  
"ZzZzZz..."  
  
Duo peered at the sleeping blond cat with a sulk. "O~h, Quaaaaat--" Trowa glowered at the Braided One, his mouth a tight thin line. "Okay, OKAY, dude..."  
  
Oh, but alas, it was too late (hey, I feel in a weird mood after watchin' someone win $250,000 on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire,' 'kay?), for lo and behold, the neko-Quatre Meowness himself's left eye cracked open in the TINIEST. SLIT. EVER! Therefore, a greenish blue sky-meets-earth-and-mixes colored shine spread throughout the valleys and lands, and they lived happily ever after. (Right now, I'm probably freaking out my readers big time...oi, didn't I put a 'weirdness' warning? No? What?)  
  
Em...neko-Quatre slipped into Trowa's lap, Wufei still having a sure death grip on the tail. The. Tail. After slipping into said lap, he began squirming, squeezing and rubbing his shoulder and some lower parts (note: not THAT lower parts!) against Trowa's forest green turtleneck-clad chest, much to the one again growing amusement of Duo, maybe Heero, too; the grrrowing arousing of Trowa, and Wufei was being awakened from his slumber just 'coz of all the movement.  
  
"INJUSTICE insert unhappy exclamation marks here" The grumpy-just-because-he-woke-up Chinese person voiced loudly, rubbing his eyes with his fists (n-Quatre: *sighs in relief that his tail is free*). All eyes were on him, wide and in most cases, annoyed or angry.  
  
Another 3 seconds and n-Q-chan was rubbing away like there was no tomorrow, Trowa seemed in a VERY pleasant situation, Duo couldn't help but snort-laugh a coupla times, and Heero looked a bit pleased Q & T continued getting it on (secretly, I think Heero is a big hentai. ^_^) right...in...front...of...him (and Duo, too, his long-haired partner).  
  
Soon Trowa looked uncomfortable. Duo thought he knew why. "Don't forget we can make him do _anything...we...want_!"  
  
The Unibanged One didn't seem to get the hint, because he stayed like he was, a frozen Trowa sitting cross-legged while a blonde bishounen in a cat suit squirmed all over him.  
  
"In other words...it's YOUR turn to "mess" with him!" Duo grinned and gave him that thumbs-up gesture.  
  
This time Trowa seemed to understand...he gently placed a hand on n-Quatre's shoulder to get his attention. Wriggling around some more to get comfortable, the "cat" in front of him...err, on his lap watched him attentively.  
  
Trowa said...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Say meow." Everyone facevaulted.  
  
N-Quatre complied: "Meow."  
  
"Say meow."  
  
"Meow."  
  
"Say m--"  
  
"Troooowa! You gotta come up with something BETTER!" Duo whined. Trowa looked at the now-stretched-out-lazily-across-his-lap (I know, I know, repeating of some words can be so dull...is there another word for 'lap,' anyway?) kitty and got a suggestive gleam in the eye everyone could see.  
  
"Quatre." Trowa said lowly, coolly. "Bedroom." He then proceeded to carry a wide-eyed n-Quatre in his arms to the said area of the mansion.  
  
Quatre's tail somehow began to twitch, and Wufei watched it longingly.  
  
When T & Q were out of sight...  
  
"Hey, man, I didn't know you were obsessed with cats!"  
  
"Shut up, Maxwell."  
  
"And all this time I thought..."  
  
"Shut up, Maxwell."  
  
And so Duo shut up.  
  
But soon loud thumping, banging, whip-cracking...could be heard.  
  
"Do you want me to shut up NOW?"  
  
"DUO! OMAE O KOROSU!! URASAI!!"  
  
_______________owAri!!____________________________________________  
  
  



End file.
